Category Archives: Zombies

Creepshow 1982

If you think about it it’s almost bizarre to think that Creepshow even exists. It’s five stories and a wrap around tale all by at-his-peak Stephen King, it’s directed by George A. Romero at his most confident, King stars in it, as does his son, Joe Hill. There’s also a host of great actors: Hal Holbrook, Ed Harris, Adrienne Barbeau, E. G. Marshall, Ted Danson and Leslie Nielsen when he was still a straight actor. It’s also got Tom Savini and his amazing practical effects at his most creative and playful. It’s basically a beautiful gift to horror fans. How is this even a thing?

Creepshow starts as a weird reflection of my own childhood. A horror obsessed kid has his favourite comic, the EC inspired Creepshow, thrown out by his father who doesn’t want any such filth in his house. Back when I was a child my father also had a fanny fit about the first issue of Fangoria magazine I’d bought. How could I have such vileness and depravity in his house? He threw it out and told me I was to never buy that magazine again. Much like the kid, played by Joe Hill, in Creepshow I decided that my father had no moral authority over me so fetched it out of the bin. Unlike the kid I didn’t decide to kill my father with a voodoo doll, even though I might have thought about it at the time. Instead I just got my mum to order me a monthly subscription and covered my bedroom walls with the “Scream Greats” pull out posters which came with each issue. Dad never mentioned Fangoria again.

The first story proper is probably the weakest story of the five, which is a good thing as the only way is up after that! “Father’s Day” concerns the returning corpse of a family tyrant desperate for his cake. Sure it’s got some early work from Ed Harris but the walking corpse make-up is decidedly rubbery and there is some truly terrifying disco dancing. The comic book styling is immediately apparent though. Romero freezes shots, turns them into comic panels and slides them along as a transition into the next scene. The lighting in moments of horror will flip to primary colours and action graphics will swirl out from behind characters as they look on in shock. It’s a little bit clunky and old fashioned nowadays with modern technology being able to do so much better and easier, but it’s also incredibly charming and, to this old horror comic fan, strangely comforting.

The second story, “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” is, by some margin, the silliest story here. Basically a one hander about a simple farmer who is infected and mutated by some florescent green meteoroid space plant, I can never work out if Stephen King as the farmer is it’s biggest asset or it’s biggest problem. To say King plays it broadly is something of an understatement. With his face in full gurning-simpleton mode and speaking more like a cartoon than a real human being, King is about as far away from a proper actor as you can get. And yet there is still something tragic and weirdly heartfelt about Jordy Verrill as he remembers his life full of mistakes and imagines what it could be. Also the eleven year old me loved King in this so maybe this is one aimed at the kiddies, even if it does end with (spoiler) Verrill blowing his mossy head off with a shotgun.

“Something To Tide You Over” treads the familiar ground of revenge from beyond the grave. So familiar in fact partly because we just had this two stories ago in “Father’s Day”. However this story is much tighter and filled with incident. It helps that the two stars, Ted Danson and Leslie Nelson both known for their excellent comedic acting, take the story so seriously. Nelson is the angry older husband getting revenge on his wife and her lover by burying them in the sand and watching them drown in TV as the tide comes in. He is a cold hearted son of a bitch. His motivation has nothing to do with love or heartbreak, he only sees his wife as his property that Danson has the cheek to try and take. Danson goes through a range of emotions from cool, above it all boy-lover to a man begging for his life as he’s literally up to his neck in it. The scenes where Danson and Gaylen Ross have the tide coming in and the water splashes over them are particularly effective as, no matter how many safety regulations they had in place, the actors must have genuinely been half drowned for the sake of this creepy little tale. I also love the soggy, water logged zombies at the end, with their puffy blue skin all covered in seaweed. They are kind of ridiculous looking but so much fun with their waterlogged voices and dark green blood pouring down their faces.

And that’s what is so great about Creepshow. Yes it is dealing with murder, revenge, the undead and weird monsters but it’s done not so much as as a comedy but with its slippery black tongue planted firmly in its rotting cheek. Horror here is not trying to scare you but delight with its bizarre, fast paced and wonderfully macabre little tales.

“The Crate” is the perfect example of this. The story is simplicity itself: a university Dean finds an old crate which contains some ancient beast brought back from a find two hundred years previously and dumped in a cellar*. The creature munches his way through some of the faculty before another professor realises this might be the perfect way to get rid of his nagging, spiteful wife. The monster itself is a fur ball throwback to a cross between a yeti and a particularly mean Muppet. It could almost be endearing (on set the crew loved it so much they gave it the nickname Fluffy) if it wasn’t so vicious and bloody in its attacks. It tears through throats like they were butter and drags the corpses away to be eaten whole in the comfort of his crate. Then there are the performances. Hal Holbrook is so perfect as the educated man imagining violent deaths for his wife. He is down trodden but surprisingly calculating when push comes to shove (literally, he shoves his wife into the crate). Adrianne Barbeau, as always, is superb as his mean, drunk, belittling spouse. She is so different from Holbrook that you wonder how he could have ended up with her, and yet despite that you can see how he was attracted to her – she IS fun, her differences must have been appealing once upon a time. However you are totally on Holbrook’s side by the time he decides she should be Fluffy’s main course. This is the great thing about Creepshow, it can take the idea of a husband wanting to kill his wife and make it hugely entertaining.

The final story, ¨They’re Creeping Up On You¨ is the”greatest story here and also a showcase of Romeroś direction at its very best. E. G. Marshall goes for broke as a neurotic millionaire locked away in his hygienic ivory tower, under attack by an infestation of cockroaches. It is one actor in a white room and little else, but you learn everything you need to know about this contemporary Scrooge. you learn how he relishes in people’s misery, how his business deals are all the better if someone else suffers (hmmm…. where have heard that before?), and the abject terror he has with anything that is in the slightest bit unclean. The realisation he has that the muesli he has been eating contains more than just raisins is the most horrific moment here and that’s before the cockroaches start pouring out of every orifice.

This last story always freaked me out enough as a child. So much so that I would stop the tape before getting to it. Not sure I know why this was. Maybe it was the idea of all those bugs waiting for me in the bed or the thought of finding cockroaches in my Ready Brek. Maybe the story was too dark for my young mind.

Not so nowadays, this last story in particular but Creepshow in general is just great. Go on, show it to your kids, creep them out a little.



It Stains The Sand Red 2016

Its hard out there for a zombie movie. To try and make yourself distinct from the rest of the flesh eating hordes you really have to try something different in order to get noticed. Recent times have barfed up The Girl With All The Gifts with its emphasis on children and World War Z with its emphasis on throwing lots of money at the screen and then doing a bog standard final act that could be in any low budget undead flick.

It Stains The Sand Red tries something different for its plot and it works a treat… well to start with anyway.

Molly and Nick are racing across the desert in his Porsche, escaping from the zombie apocalypse. Neither of them seem particularly bothered by the mayhem they’ve left behind, partly because they are drunk and high but mostly because they are selfish. However a quick vomit stop results in Molly alone with no car and being relentlessly chased by a single, besuited zombie. This is the central plot of the film: one woman being mercilessly pursued by a man who wants to kill her (and eat her intestines obviously). No matter where she goes, and she doesn’t really have anywhere to go as she’s in the middle of the Nevada desert, there he is, relentlessly following her.

This is a great set up for a low budget movie. For one thing you only need two actors. Brittany Allen has a really tough job to do here. She has to be both an awful human being and deeply sympathetic (she pulls it off well). She may be self obsessed but she has also found herself in this situation through a series of bad choices with bad men, the zombie following her is just the latest in a long line of them. It is telling that when she runs out of the cocaine she was so desperate to keep hold of in her initial scramble to escape, the real Molly starts to show herself. She is a woman of regret and sorrow and maybe this enforced, hideous, sobering experience is what she needs to get back on track in life. Obviously its a pity that her new life could be in a world where everyone is dead but hey, you can’t chose when you’re going to sort your shit out.

Molly herself is a trashy, taste free stripper with too much make-up, some awful animal print clothes and deeply inappropriate shoes for walking in the desert. There is a beautiful moment when Molly comes across a mirror and sees her face, all the make-up long since washed away. She looks almost shocked at seeing her true self. Its the minimalist plot which means the film can have great, subtle character moments like this.

Juan Riedinger plays the zombie, not very affectionally know as Smalls. Zombies are ten-a-penny nowadays so making them distinct or even scary is a tricky number to pull off. Smalls’s relentless pursuit of Molly makes him a formidable presence and having him stumble around in the bright summer sun rather than shuffling around in the dark makes him more creepy rather than less: despite the fact that here is a man trying to kill a woman in broad daylight there is no one here to stop him.

The other thing that works so well in It Stains The Sand Red‘s favour is the astonishing Valley of Fire desert location. There have been a lot of low budget films shot in deserts but director Colin Minihan and his cinematographer Clayton Moore really take advantage of the Nevada landscape, with grand vistas and heat hazed tarmac. The stark image of Smalls in his sharp black suit against the burning brightness of the sand makes the zombie stand out more in this hellish world not fit for humans.

My main problem as I watched the first part of the film was that I wasn’t sure they could make this premise last for an hour and a half. Even half an hour in it felt a little repetitive with Molly thinking she’d escaped Smalls only for him to lurch out from behind some rock again and again. However the dynamic between the two characters does take a turn, I’m just not sure its for the better.

Look, I find it a bit odd for people to say I don’t like the way a story went it should have done this instead. Well if that’s the story you wanted to see then you should have written it yourself. So its not for me to tell Minihan and co what there story should be about. However it seems weird that (OKAY SPOILERS FOR THE REST OF THIS PARAGRAPH) firstly Molly and Smalls should start to get along, mainly because he is a zombie who’s soul purpose in life, sorry death, is to eat people and Molly should be just meat to him.  Maybe its like Bub in Day of the Dead who grows as a zombie and doesn’t want to eat his master. I can maybe see a bit how Molly would be more grateful to him (he saves her life, albeit only because the person attacking her was nearer and so easier to eat) as she probably likes any man who shows some kind of kindness to her. But their relationship does seem to me to stretch probability somewhat. However I could go along with this because at least it did do something different and stretch Molly’s character in interesting ways. What I couldn’t understand was how the final act abandons the entire set up altogether and becomes a basic standard zombie movie like hundreds of others. I realise that you have to tell a story with a beginning, a middle and an end, however the end of this story seemed to be from a completely different movie.

Okay so if you did skip the rest of that last paragraph I basically said it starts of interesting, well made and original and by the end its just well made. Still if you aren’t sick to death of zombies by now (and I have to say I am more and more struggling to care about them anymore) then its better than most, certainly better than World War Z with its generic, bog standard final act… oh, hang on….

Dead of Night 1974


Having recently lost a member of my family Dead of Night‘s bitter anger at death, and the effect it has on those around its victims, has a strong ring of authenticity to it. However the film must have felt even rawer at its time of release. America was fighting itself as much as it was fighting across the sees in Vietnam, and young sons were paying for this folly with their lives.

The Brooks family are sitting around their kitchen table talking about their son and brother Andy, who is in ‘Nam, when they receive the dreaded knock at the door. It is the letter telling them that Andy died in action. The family’s grief is palpable, as the spare chair at the table they have been sitting around becomes uncompromisingly empty. Some time later the daughter wakes up to the noise of someone in the house. Her, her mother and father go down only to discover Andy has not died and is back home for good. Of course there is something very, very wrong with Andy…

This must have been a painful film to watch back in 1974. Usually when a film is made about a war it is made several years after the fact. This gives some distance to the proceedings and audiences can absorb what the film maker has to offer without feeling like it is too real. Seeing as the Vietnam war was still going on when Dead of Night was released it must have been a shocker. Andy, upon his return, is a distant, mostly silent figure, staring off into the distance as he rocks back and forth on his rocking chair. This must have been like any number of returning veterans – suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or worse. However Andy is also a zombie who tries to keep himself alive by murdering everyone around him and injecting their blood into his withering veins. Although he doesn’t say much of anything he does claim his actions are a reaction to “all those who stayed at home” whilst he fought for them. He paid in blood for them, now he wants it back. The injection scene isn’t like some modern vampire though but like a smack addicted getting his fix, again like so many veterans of the era.

Dead of Night is an uncompromisingly bleak portrayal of the effects war can have on people, all wrapped up as a zombie movie. Andy is bitter and vengeful towards his fellow Americans even as he claims to be now superior to them as he cannot die. Meanwhile his family is ruined by him. They are first devastated when they think he is dead and then unable to accept the horrible truth when they realise he is “alive”, His father lies to the police in order to protect him, his sister, Cathy, is driven mad be the reality of what he is and his mother (Lynn Carlin) is worst of all. When the father (hauntingly played by John “Oh there’s a horse head in my bed” Marley) finally comes to his senses and says they have to deal with Andy before he hurts his sister, Carlin screams out “I don’t care about Cathy!” Such is her demented love for her son that she would rather her daughter died than anything happened to her little boy.


All this culminates in a bitter little ending as (SPOILER) the now decomposing Andy is driven by his mother to a graveyard where, unable to cope with the world he has come back to, he tries to bury himself alive under a self made tombstone. (END OF SPOILER)

Its not a lot of fun. But then again it is…

What is most shocking about Dead of Night is that it is directed by Bob Clark who is best known for his Porkies movies and later less well known for the Baby Geniuses movies. Those all may have been silly sex comedies and weird children flicks but if you look at Clark’s early work he did three great horror movies in a row. Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things, this and Black Christmas, all in a couple of years. All three of them are good but Black Christmas is a legitimate classic and proto-slasher-before-Halloween to boot. I guess Clark must have been doing what many directors have done and used horror as a playground for honing his skills before moving onto more mainstream stuff. Its a shame he never returned to the genre (maybe Murder by Decree did a bit with its brutal Jack the Ripper slayings).

Dead of Night is, however, also a good testing ground for Clark’s later comedies, hence the fun. Every other character besides the Brooks family and Andy’s victims is clearly a comedic creation. There’s the local drunk who can barely speak, the stuttering chef who has all his sentences finished by his wife and the policeman who can’t stop fiddling with venetian blinds. All of them could easily be characters in Porkies movies and they are given so much time that its not hard to see where Clark’s heart was leaning.

Personally I think this is a tragedy. Who watches the Porkies movies now? And who ever watched Baby Geniuses, let alone Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2? Black Christmas has already been reevaluated as a classic. This surely can’t be far behind? Dead of Night is a clever and serious study of the effects of war on the individual and the effects of grief on the family, whilst at the same time it is a creepy and entertaining B-movie. It would have been good to see more like this from Clark. Still… you got to be happy with what we’ve got.


(Dead of Night is also know as Deathdream by the way. I’m going with what it said on the copy I saw but you got to love this action-centric poster below that doesn’t even look like a horror movie. And how it got a PG I will never know: its not particularly gory but the tone is so dark, even with comedy side characters.)


Train to Busan 2016


So despite the relentless flow of the undead which surely passed saturation point a long time ago, 2016 proved that the zombie genre is still in rude health. There’s The Walking Dead which still pulling in huge numbers on TV (even if everyone officially hates it) along with I, Zombie and Z Nation having their fans. On film, beyond all the not-even-good-enough-for-direct-to-Netflix nonsense we’ve already had one out and out classic in The Girl With All The Gifts this year and now we have Train to Busan.

Train To Busan is not, it has to be said, in the same league as The Girl With All The Gifts, but then its trying for something very different. The film it most resembles is World War Z, which is never a movie I thought anyone would be inspired by. But its as if Korean director Sang-ho Yeon saw the Brad Pitt starrer and thought, hey, I could do that but better by setting it all on a train. And that’s exactly what he’s done.

The set up is kept to a minimum: a useless father takes his young daughter onto a train destined for Busan to meet up with her mother. As the train pulls out of the station a zombie infestation takes over the city they leave behind and one zombie manages to make it aboard. Various carriages are overwhelmed by the zombies whilst others fight back. That is basically your lot. But boy does Yeon exploit his scenario well.

Zombie movies are at their best when they confine the action to one location, be it a farm house or a shopping mall or a military base. The train is a great location because not only does it keep everything tightly contained but it also means that the plot is always moving along and there is an ultimate destination for the characters and the story. Even in the mighty Dawn of the Dead it is unclear what our heroes will do at the end of the film when the shopping mall becomes untenable: flying off to who knows where in a helicopter feels almost an after thought. Here though there is somewhere for the survivors to get to and it gives the film great momentum, even if we’re not sure what awaits them once they get there. The train also is a perfect set up to give the survivors something to do other than block up windows and doors (although they do their fair share of that). For example some of the survivors are in carriage 9 whilst there loved ones are trapped in a toilet in 13, the rest of the survivors are up front in carriage 15. Its almost video game like in its simplicity but it gives the middle section of the movie lots to do as the guys battle their way through to get to their partners.


The zombies themselves are a fun bunch. The World War Z influence is clear as they pour over each other to get to their next victim like a pile of killer ants. The influence is also there in that it is mostly a bloodless affair, maybe going for the PG-13 crowd, but despite the lack of gore they are still quite a threatening bunch. Maybe its because they are so relentless in their pursuit: when one zombie falls off the train and snaps his arms around the back of his neck he just gets up and carries on running after his victim despite now looking like a broken jigsaw puzzle. There’s also some great imagery: people trapped under a fallen carriage whilst zombies inside press against the window above them, hundreds of soldier zombies falling through broken gangway windows and smashing face first onto the train roof, a thick line of zombies clinging onto each other on the back back of the train, their bodies getting torn apart along the railway.

Of course all this excitement would be for nought if you didn’t care, fortunately the survivors, although thinly drawn, are a likeable bunch. You have the father who is some awful banker but learns the value of parenthood, the hard man with a heart, a terrified homeless man who becomes brave at the end and then there’s the prerequisite pregnant lady who.. okay, doesn’t get to do much more than be pregnant but is nice enough. Hmmm… alright maybe the women aren’t given that much to do except scream and be rescued by the men which isn’t so great.

Look despite its subtitles and coming from  Korea where cinema is often both intellectual and highly entertaining at the same time, Train to Busan is decidedly not high art. Nor is it trying to be. It is however a rollicking good bit of horror adventure which takes advantage of its set up brilliantly and gives us some of the best zombie action we’ve had in a while. I’m still waiting for the zombie genre to run out of steam but somehow that hasn’t happened yet, and this is yet more proof of that.



The Girl With All The Gifts 2016


The undead are dead they keep telling us. Yet every couple of years they rise from the grave to prove them wrong. The last really good zombie movie had to be The Battery and that was done with about two dollars and mostly set in the boot of a car. The Girl With All The Gifts is British so it is fair to assume that director Colm McCarthy didn’t have much more money to play with. But with a combination of big ideas, a great source novel and a terrific cast he’s only gone and made one of the best zombie movies ever and certainly one of the best British horror films of recent years.

Well I say zombie film, mostly because it has zombies in it, but the mood and feel of The Girl With All The Gifts is more like Day of the Triffids or Terry Nation’s Survivors. As in this is a typically British apocalypse and a pretty bleak film.

There aren’t many post apocalypse movies that aren’t bleak really, maybe Night of the Comet with teen heroines able to go shopping without the need for daddy’s credit card. In general, the apocalypse involves the fact that nearly everyone you know is dead, almost certainly horribly so. If you’re really unlucky they’re also trying to eat you. Everyone who isn’t dead has almost certainly turned into an arsehole and is either trying to start a new militaristic style world order or some weird sex haram in order to repopulate the world with more arseholes. The apocalypse is depressing man.

The Girl With All The Gifts at least goes for the former approach, being set in a military base where shady experiments on the undead in the hope of finding a cure are the order of the day. However the focus is not on that old story but on a young girl called Melanie. Upbeat and fiercely intelligent, Melanie lives inside a prison cell, her only relief the pictures of a cat and her lessons with the rest of the children and their teacher Helen Justinaeu, whom she loves deeply. Of course it quickly becomes apparent that all these children are zombie children who will eat Helen and the surrounding soldiers’ faces off if not strapped to their wheel chairs. The only hope for humanity is the work of Doctor Caldwell who is operating on the children to find out why they aren’t mindless cannibals, unlike the adult zombies,in the hope of finding an antidote. Obviously this “happy” life can’t last and soon everything goes to shit in a basket of crap.

What works so well here is that the film manages to capture all the detail of the book but mostly in visual form whilst, and not feeling the needed to be be a three hour behemoth that so many adaptations seem to suffer from nowadays. The entire dynamic between Melanie, Helen and the army sergeant, Parks, is summed up in a moment as Helen strokes the girl’s hair, the two females emotion in the moment and the military man’s horror at the intimacy between a human and what he sees as a monster. The opening section of the book set inside the camp is pretty long but the film wisely trims this down to a fairly short opening act. This is mostly accomplished by keeping the story focused on Melanie’s perspective: there may be terrible events going on outside the camp but we only see what Melanie sees. The upshot of this is when we are suddenly thrown into an epic zombie battle we’re really not expecting it. Add in the fact that most of it is done in one long take and you really get the feeling that McCarthy is just showing off.


This visual flair and the tight script are complemented by the superb acting. I’m not sure Paddy Considine has ever given a poor performance in his life and here he adds depth to Parks that I never noticed in the book. Same too as the villainous Doctor Caldwell. She may be the standard crazy scientist but Close makes you feel that her cold approach to child mutulation has a calculated logical reason behind it. She has rejected her own conscience and morality for the survival of humankind. I don’t need to talk about Gemma Arterton by now do I? She’s fantastic as always. The only bum note to her role isn’t even related to what she does. Early on a couple of soldiers are discussing her role as the children’s teacher and on of them says “yeah, but she’s well fit.” Ugh. I guess soldiers may well talk like that but it just seemed to jar with both what everyone is trying to do with the female characters in the film and Arterton’s in particular. The female roles presented here are not defined by their sexuality, their looks or in relation to the male characters. There’s even a scene where four female characters have an angry confrontation, passing the Bechdel test with flying colours, so why we had to have someone pointing out how fit Aterton is is beyond me.

Anyway, none of these great performances would have made the slightest difference if the girl playing Melanie hadn’t been up to scratch. Fortunately newcomer Sennia Nanua makes most experienced actors seems like amateurs with all the screen presence of a season professional whilst, at the same time, still acting like a child. Between moments of horror she has some beautiful quiet moments. For example when she is slumped in ecstasy from consuming flesh, or feelings of wonder like when she is strapped to the top of a tank, staring in slack jawed amazement at the beautiful world around her. You’d think that Nanua probably got a lot of help from the rest of the cast, but Arterton says that she came on set quite capable already. Let’s hope she gets more good roles in the future.

So a really good British zombie movie then. Who’ve thought it. It’s one of a very small exclusive club containing 28 Days Later, Shaun of the Dead, The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue and Plague of the Zombies… And probably the best of the bunch.