Valentine 2001

Okay I get why you would want to release your horror movie set on St Valentine’s day and called Valentine actually on St Valentine’s day. It makes total sense: cash in on that holiday. But surely, unless your horror movie is actually about love (maybe twisted forbidden love like The Shape of Water or doomed…

Life 2017

  I’m in two minds about Life. On the one hand I am ALWAYS in favour of an Alien rip off. I don’t care how many years after it came out (in this case a generatinal 38 years) or how cheap looking your movie turns out, if you are going to supply my senses with…

The Babysitter 2017

Traditionally if you are making a horror movie based around what is usually considered normal and mundane in our lives, you make it incredibly serious and freak everyone out. Look at Halloween or The Stepfather, one minute we’re all having a happy holiday or living with a loving family, the next the film comes out…

Leatherface 2017

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 was widely criticized at the time of its release for being too far removed from the original film. Not only was there hardly any killing (outside the opening sequence) but it also seemed to be embracing other genres: it mostly play for laughs and seemed to be trying for…

Don’t Go In The House 1979

In my review of Don’t Go In The Woods I asked, In a roundabout kind of way, how any conservative MP in their right mind could take such a film so seriously as to ban it. Don’t Go In the House, which was also on the Video Nasties list, is surely more the film they…

The Rezort 2015

  It’s hard out there for a zombie. In the never ending barrage of undead movies it’s getting tougher to stand out from the crowd. I think it’s it’s fair to say that most of the blame must go to The Walking Dead. That TV show sets the zombie bar so high that little can…

The House On Sorority Row 1983

In the never ending quest to watch a decent slasher movie I will often check out the headlines of reviews to see if a movie could be worth a watch. Under normal circumstances if a film is described as having “competence” it’s generally seen as damning with faint praise. However, if you’ve seen as many…

Halloween 4 The Return of Michael Myers 1988

After everyone wrongly rejected Halloween 3 Season of the Witch for not having Michael Myers in it, the Halloween franchise went into a dormant state. Obviously this wasn’t a bad idea as a) Halloween is an out and out classic and cannot be beaten so why even try and b) Michael Myers isn’t known as…

Blair Witch 2016

I love the fact that no one even knew the was a new Blair Witch film was being made until two months before its release. When the original Blair Witch Project came out it was it’s very mystery (with the help of the youngish internet) that propelled it to box office glory and cultural success….

Dracula Untold 2016

They say, whoever they are, that a film is made in the edit suite. This may be true, but if this is the case then a film can be destroyed in the edit suite too. Its the death of a movie by a thousand cuts, through studio notes and test screening worries. I have little…

The Hills Have Eyes 2006

Back in the noughties (which seemed about a week ago for me but apparently it was a whole other decade) the horror genre seeming to be going through a bit of a remake frenzy. Horror has always been subject to the remake (how many Draculas and Frankensteins have there been) and I don’t have a…

Phantasm 1979

I thought I saw Phantasm back in the day but it seems I am greatly mistaken. The day must have been more of a muddy and murky place than I thought. The truth of the matter is that I have never seen Phantasm. The other truth is that Phantasm Is absolutely mad. Ignoring all such…